with you wherever you go

It’s been quite some time since I updated this blog, and a lot has changed since the last time I posted - most significantly, my location! I’ve been back in my country of origin, the good ol’ USofA, since April 28th. It has been a sweet time of transition and reconnection with loved ones, but obviously not without its challenges.

We read a whole book and spent a whole week talking about “Re-entry” before we said our goodbyes to Australia and YWAM life, and the more I live in this re-entry phase, the more I understand why we needed to talk about it for so long. It can be so beautiful and so brutal all at the same time.

I never thought I would say this, but I miss sharing a bunk bed (shoutout to my sweet bunkmates: Bella, Morgan, and Rachel). I miss sharing every meal with some of my closest friends. I miss sitting on GLMC’s tile floor with my lovely Filipino sisters and brothers. I miss being constantly surrounded by people who are radically after God’s heart and push me to be after His heart, too. Home life looks different in almost every aspect - from eating and sleeping to everything in between.

Although my month and a half of being home has been strange and, at times, disorienting, life back home is starting to feel a bit more “normal” again, whatever that means. I’m so grateful for the chance to be reunited with my beautiful family, and especially, my beautiful grandmother.

I have been using this time of transition to be with her as often as I possibly can, and preparing her to go home to her Heavenly Father, whenever that time comes. A lot of times, it feels like all I can do is hold her hand, but the Lord has been giving me a lot of comfort that all I can do is enough, and He already has the rest of it in His hands.

I won’t sugarcoat this: it doesn’t look like my grandma’s tumor is going to disappear. But she is overjoyed at the thought of meeting Jesus face to face, and I want to share in that excitement with her. She wants to laugh right now. She wants to watch movies that make her belly laugh and eat Chik-Fil-A sandwiches for dinner and she even joked about taking a trip to Switzerland. She wants to squeeze all the beauty out of life that she possibly can right now, and I know that God is inviting my family on a journey to help her do that.

So, before you ask me: no, I don’t have plans to look for work right now. I’ll probably be nannying here and there this summer, but above all else, I feel that my job right now is to be by my grandma’s side as often as I can be. This is, I feel, God’s “next step” for my life, so I will walk into it with boldness and thank Him for the gift of time He has given me and my family and Carol.

There’s a lot that I’m still trying to process about my DTS, and I think it will take a lot longer than a month to figure it all out. Maybe I’ll write more blog posts in the future to unpack more of my experience. (No promises, we all know how flakey I am when it comes to regular updates.)

Part of the process of unpacking my DTS involves publicly sharing what I did, saw, and what God taught me through this time. If you’re in the Northern VA area and would be interested in hearing more about my time in AUS and the Philippines, I’ll be speaking during the worship service at Kirkwood Presbyterian Church on June 30, 2019 at 10:00am. If you can’t make it but would still like to hear more, I’d love to meet with you in person! Shoot me a Facebook message or email me at windhausenbg@vcu.edu and we can schedule a coffee date.

Thank you, as always, for following with me on this journey. I’m forever grateful that you partnered with me and God and what He wanted to do in my life through this DTS. Please let me know how I can be praying for you or if you’d like to grab coffee. I’m thrilled to be back home and I’ve missed all of you so so so much.

And to my fellow MAD October ‘18 DTS graduates - know how grateful I am to have met each and every one of you. Every conversation was significant, and every second spent with you was beautiful in some way. I’m proud of all of you and I’m so excited to see where else the Lord takes us in years to come. (And NEVER STOP USING OUR SNAP GROUP.)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

-bw